My story begins with one simple experience that has been an underlying thread stringing the events of my life together. When I was 8 years old, sitting on a toilet (of all places!), I sat there looking out of the window at the trees, wondering, "What is this? What is the point of life? Why am I here?" And as soon as I asked, I saw an opening into an infinite space with twinkling stars and two very, very tall energetic beings. They shared with me that 'this' was an all an illusion (sort of like a video game I thought - which by the way, I hated playing!). I was so frightened at the thought that what I was seeing and experiencing was not real, that it immediately brought me back to the awareness of being in my body, sitting on the toilet seat.
This peaked an already curious nature to seek for the underlying truth in everything - how do things work, how are they made, why do people do/act the way they do, what plays a larger influence nurture vs. nature, what is our purpose, and what is the nature of the universe. I became obsessed with knowing- soaking up everything I could - so you know when we got internet access, you know I was in heaven!
I was interested in biology, psychology, and technology. I even became a Biological Engineer and graduated with honours. But all this seeking made me realize that we didn't know that much at all - that so much was still left to be discovered - that most of what we 'know' is based on assumptions (or beliefs haha!) that we all collectively hold and are taught. I remember specifically one instance in my university thermodynamics class where solving the problem was only possible by first stating certain assumptions were valid. I asked the professor, "How do we know that these assumptions are the 'truth.' He looked at me like no one had ever asked him that before, and he said nonchalantly, "Well, we don't but its because based on the current system, its what we all agree on." At that moment, I realized the world is fluid and changeable and certainty is the illusion.
Now, I started to think, what if these assumptions are outdated beliefs? Beliefs that do not serve the truth of the universe? And the truth is what is desiring to be expressed individually and collectively? Ever-changing but always present. Then, we need to be in communication with this underlying 'truth' consistently and we need to act from a place of unburdened truth - this clear channel - and that place is our soul - our true essence - a reflection of the universe in this moment.
This realization liberated me and I started to seek a deeper understanding in the realms of psychology, spirituality, and the mystical. Although I was always interested in these areas, I approached it with a stronger commitment and focus. I learned and began embodying mindfulness and purpose practices. I took courses and attended as many self-help and personal development weekends and conferenced as I could. I read and read and read. I wanted to experience the light and darkness of my trauma. I enrolled in a 13 month mystical wisdom teaching and generational healing program. All of this and more than I can list here led me to the purposeful work that I do now. The work and the play of being my true authentic self in as many moments as I can and in helping you do the same.
Thank you for letting me share my story with you. One that I kept all to myself until now.